February 24, 2012
Reflections of my time away so far…
I said something to my cousin in passing that got me thinking. You see, my 81 year old aunt thought it would be a great idea to introduce me to a guy in Spain she thought would be perfect for me (if perfect for me is unemployed, lives with his mother, and has way more than an adequate numbers of loose screws). She planned this somewhat elaborate hoax to get me to meet him.
On the second to the last night I was to spend with my family…my aunt invited me over to her house, with the excuse she didn’t feel well enough to come over to my cousins. Immediately I rushed out of my cousin’s house and entered my aunts (they live next door to one another) and…wouldn’t you know…there was a man in the parlor wearing his best suit awaiting my arrival.
For the next 45 minutes I got to hear this man talk about his ex-wife, about how he always wanted a daughter, how he was a hard worker but the failing economy rendered him unemployable. He works with technology and is very good at what he does, he says. At which point he takes out his new smart phone and proudly shows it to me. He needs help with this “thing” called Facebook and thought maybe I could help him set it up…but of course, he doesn’t even have an email address (remember…he’s been telling me how great he is with technology). Well…he decided that he would have a friend at the local bar help him set everything up. He then asked if I would chat with him on Facebook…and, if I choose, promise to be faithful to him and over the next few months we could chat on Facebook for a while and then in a couple of months I could go back to Spain, marry him, and take him with me to the U.S.
I don’t even want to start with the whole ludicrousness of the situation. I think it speaks for itself. This man never saw me before that night, and needed someone to support him and I seemed like a good option. All he had to do is marry the old spinster and make her honorable. For my aunt’s sake, I tried to be pleasant on the outside. On the inside, I was thinking…if my aunt knew me in the tiniest bit…she should know that this not the “perfect” match for me. In her mind, it is better for me to be with anyone than to be alone. It’s as if I’m flawed in some way. I was slightly perturbed, although I couldn’t get mad at my aunt or disrespect her.
My cousin was pretty pissed too. Probably more than me. But it started up a conversation that was actually pretty interesting for me.
You see, I might not have that “special relationship” with one person…but I have many “special relationships” with people around the world. I have family in different countries that, for the most part, we all get along great. Especially the cousins, their significant others, and their families. My relationships with my friends are also very strong. I love spending time with them and sharing my life with them. I love to travel, am a little eccentric, don’t like to conform, have a responsible and a little freaky side. I do what I want, when I want.
In one moment, I looked at my cousin and said…if I had a family I’d probably never see them again. Trying to get time off to see my family with work and school schedules would be too difficult a task. Leaving my family for months on end to “figure out what I want out of life” wouldn’t be a possibility either. Forget the vixen stuff, forget skating, forget losing myself in a walk by the beach. I’m too weird. And a relationship that strips me of who I am is not a relationship I choose to have.
Growing old alone…I really don’t think it’s going to happen BUT in case it does…I’m ok with it. I’m going to live the fullest life I can, learn all I can, and take care of me. And when the day comes I can’t take care of myself…I hope I have a nice room with a pretty window at a nice private assisted living facility. Adorning my walls will be pictures of all the places I’ve gone, people I’ve met, you know…my life. I’ll have little index cards with explanations of each picture in case I have forgotten. AND if it is a life well lived, hopefully I’ll have a friend or two visiting me or staying in the next suite. Even in the retirement village, I could see Carol and I giggling as we talk KISS or clothes…and I have no doubt we’d be a couple of trendy old ladies.
And while the above concept would make my aunt really mad at me…it’s my life.
The things I get involved in…sheeeesh!!! It’s enough to make me want to write a book J
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