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February 2, 2012


"You're single, but not available".


This phrase was used to describe me. Me. What the hell does that statement even mean?? 


So in trying to find a new direction for the future...I guess I need to address the aforementioned statement.


My original thought was, maybe I'm single but not available to you. Is that the truth? What is my truth? And I also realized...I sure better be the one to label myself...if not, there is no shortage of people in this world that will gladly place a label on me. 


So what is my label?


Well...single. Yes. I'm single. Not married. Nope, never been married...or divorced for that matter. So I'm single. 


There is nothing wrong with being single. You can be single (unmarried) and in a committed relationship. 


I find it interesting when people say that they were "married" but now they are "divorced". Wasn't marriage "in sickness and in health...for richer and poorer...til death do you part"? So, if you both are still alive shouldn't you still be married?  


Why get married in the first place if you're only willing to be there for good times, for richer, or til whenever you're just not happy anymore? If that's the case...why get religious organizations, the government, and attorneys involved in your love life? Sorry...I just don't get it.


So single. I was single. I am single. I'll take that.


Unavailable? That's the confusing verb for me. Unavailable for what? Let me define that. Unavailable for anyone that will keep me from growing into the person I want to be. Yes, I'm unavailable for that. Unavailable to try to "fix" someone else's current situation and be a savior. Yes, I guess I'm unavailable for that too (although I do believe that I am a very charitable and caring person). Unavailable to hurt someone else...if I know eventually I will. Yes, I'm unavailable for that too. So...there is some truth to the unavailable thing. I just don't like the negativity of that word.


SO...


What am I available for?


Well...I'm definitely available to share my life. My friends should know this. I'll be there for them in good times, bad times, rich times, lean times...til death do us part. Not everyone becomes my friend...but to those who are...they know I am always available to them. 

Am I available to a "significant other"? Of course I am. But I'm not going to pick someone because I'm lonely, because they're "there", because of my age, or to better fit into society. I won't do that.  I can't do that. If I try to do that I will fail miserably. I will be available to a person I admire, trust, respect, cherish, and lust...nothing less.


I am Arlene...and I am going into this year single and available to see what happens. This will be my label. I like it. It's a little wordy but fits me well.